Praise is a powerful tool for recognizing the child's achievements and stimulating it to new achievements. However, it is important to be protected from the wording, such as "You are good!", "Wonderful work" or "Wow, cool!", Because the wrong utterance of praise can lead to stress and dependence in the child. The teacher, psychologist and director of the atmospheric school "Atmospheric school" Tatiana Serebryanska shares tips on how to properly praise children, especially in wartime.
The advice of a Chinese sage
Tatiana Serebryanskaya notes that the Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu noted the danger of praise based on the opinion of other people. She recommends that parents learn to praise the child to avoid stress, especially in difficulties. It is important to follow a few simple rules.
Rule first: always specify praise
Instead of general statements of the type "You are good!" It is worth focusing on the specific achievements of the child. Use phrases that indicate what was high quality or particularly successful.
Rule Two: Do not depreciate your child's achievement
It is important to express praise so that it does not turn into reproach. For example, avoid statements where the positive after "but" is replaced by negativity. This approach helps to stimulate the child and maintain his effort.
Rule Three: Assess the actions not the child's personality
Praise should be aimed at the actions and efforts of the child, not their personal qualities. Avoid “you are so smart!” And instead evaluate the diligence and results of the work done.
Rule Fourth: Do not compare your child with others
Each child is unique, and comparing it with others can lead to negative consequences. Make sure that praise does not contain comparisons with other children, and express support based on the unique achievements of your child.
Rule Five: Do not overestimate the bar
Praise should be balanced and realistic in order to avoid creating excessively high standards. Too high expectations can cause stress and fear in a child who is afraid not to meet these standards in the future.
The conclusion is that parents should choose words for praise, follow a balanced and prudent approach, giving a constructive assessment of their child's actions and efforts.
