Praise plays a key role in a child's development, especially in times of war and stress. However, improperly formulated praise can cause stress and addiction in a child. Tetyana Serebryanska, a pedagogue, psychologist and director of the distance school "Atmospherna Shkola", told how to give high-value praise while taking care of the child's mental state.
Advice from a Chinese sage
Praise should be constructive and not addictive. Tatyana Serebryanska recalled the words of the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu: "If a person measures his success by the measure of other people's praise, his anxiety will be endless." In wartime, it is especially important to teach parents how to properly praise children, avoid stress and maintain mental health.
Rule one: always be specific about your praise
Avoiding general phrases like "You're well done!", it's better to focus on the specific achievements of the child. Use phrases that indicate specific skills or efforts: "This drawing is incredible, it is incredibly realistic", "You did a particularly good job on this task."
Rule two: do not devalue the child's achievements
Praise should be positive and should not leave the child feeling guilty. Instead of giving critical remarks like "Well done, but you could have done it faster", it is better to focus on the positive aspects: "You did a good job on the task, it is important."
Rule three: evaluate actions, not personality
Avoid general characterizations of intelligence such as "You're so smart!" Instead, evaluate the child's specific actions. Pay attention to how hard she works on the task, not just her mental abilities.
Rule four: don't compare your child with others
Every child is unique, and comparing yourself to others can lead to low self-esteem. Avoid phrases like "You drew well, but Kolya drew even better." It is better to emphasize the uniqueness and individuality of the child.
Rule five: don't set the bar high
Do not make too high demands, which can become a source of stress for the child. Praise should be balanced, without turning into a constant stream of words of thanks. Avoid using words that start with “nai” (best, smartest) and encourage your child to develop their skills.
Build your child's confidence and positive mental state by choosing thoughtful and constructive words during times of wartime stress. Proper praise should motivate and support, not harm the child's self-esteem and emotional state.
